Mirror Mirror on the Wall … Who’s the fairest of them all?
My manager of course!!!
Snow White’s evil queen may be typical of many managers. When we look in the mirror we only want to see beauty … the things we like to see.
Perhaps we should harken Robert Burns …
“O wad some Power the giftie gie us
To see oursels as ithers see us!
It wad frae mony a blunder free us ..”
Daniel Goleman, psychologist, science journalist and author wrote the internationally best seller ‘Emotional Intelligence as well as several other books on the subject of leadership.
Goleman believes that self-awareness is the 'keystone' of emotional intelligence and likely the most important emotional intelligence competency.
And yet managers tend to default to ‘techniquing’ rather than fully embracing self-awareness.
Goleman lists the self-awareness associated competencies as:
- Emotional self-awareness: Reading one’s own emotions and recognising their impact using “gut sense” to guide decision
- Accurate self-assessment: knowing ones strengths and limits
- Self-confidence: A sound sense of one’s self worth and capabilities
When delivering management and leadership development programmes that have involved sessions and work on self-awareness, using various means of collecting information such as psychometrics, behavioural questionnaires and employee feedback it has been interesting to note reaction from managers attending our courses.
Thinking of Goleman’s comments above how well do you think managers cope with feedback, given the responses below?
“Please be kind to us when you give us the answers to the feedback questionnaires”
“Psychometrics don’t work; that’s nothing like me”
“I am really concerned; I didn’t think people thought those things about me”
“The questions are too general”
"I'm not surprised he said that, he doesn't like me"
Do these reactions suggest lack of self - confidence, denial or perhaps even defensiveness?
Goleman says that self-awareness ‘means having a deep understanding of one’s emotions, as well as one’s strengths and limitations, and one’s values and motives... and they are honest about themselves with others , even to the point of being able to laugh at their own foibles”
If you want to be more than a mediocre leader then understanding how you impact on others is essential. So how do you overcome the habits of denial, defensiveness or behaving like an ostrich?
Here are some tips that might help:
- Work on your self-esteem – read self-help books and follow the suggested action plans – they do work
- Resist excusing yourself because you disbelieve the evidence – instead check out the criticism with people you can trust to give you honest feedback
- Celebrate the positive things people say about you
- Appreciate yourself and the amazing person you are
- Believe that all feedback is good feedback – very often when negative feedback is given it is because we ‘overdo’ our strengths … strengths can often be our weaknesses!!! Think about it!
- Write an action plan to help you improve any areas where you know you can improve
There are many ways you can collect feedback to improve your self-awareness and adapt your leadership styles including one to ones with staff members, effective use of the appraisal system, simply asking people you trust, 360 degree feedback tools, attending management and leadership workshops, reflecting on how people react to your leadership. Be curious about yourself. Ask yourself ‘Why do I do that?’
Syd Strike unique 360 degree feedback questionnaire is based around emotionally intelligent behaviours. We have used this extensively on numerous management development programmes. The tool provides managers with visual and written feedback as well as suggestions for improving personal awareness, sensitivity, relationship building, and inspirational leadership.
Lorna from the Waste Management Industry says “Syd Strike has delivered management development training for me for several years and has recently taken over eighty of our managers through a twelve module programme. "
The feedback is extremely encouraging and managers and supervisors are applying many new skills and behaviours in the workplace as a direct result of the training and development provided. The on line leadership profiles and 360 degree feedback have been a very useful tool to support our managers in their development.
The programme consists of twelve modules delivered over a twelve month period. David in the hospitality industry says “We used the profiles to support a one day management development programme. It proved to be a very useful tool to help my management team improve their leadership behaviours and for me to support their development”
Do let us know if we can help you develop your management team. Click here Or if you would like to see a sample of our 360 degree profile based on emotionally intelligent behaviours
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